Flings and Arrows Read online

  Hey Steffy! Thanks so much for getting back to me. I can’t tell you how pleased I was to see your message in my Inbox or how thrilled I was to read your heart-warming response. I had no idea I meant so much to you at school or that being Facebook friends had left you blown away.

  Steph frowned. Blown away? Something didn’t stack up. She scrolled up to see the conversation thread in its entirety. There was her message to Barry Hastings. She re-read it:

  Dearest Barry. I was blown away by your accepting my friend request. And talking of being blown away, I am currently having a fantastic makeover at Blown Away (High Street, Blackfen, telephone 0208 666 3701 – ask for Dominic who is totally hot to trot). If I may be so bold Barry, I’d like to say you are very fit, in every sense of the word. You said you’ve never married so I’m presuming you’re ‘not the marrying kind’. Dominic isn’t either. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you. And how very disappointing for me! You were the boy everybody was so in love with at school – myself included. I’d adore meeting up. Maybe I could bring Dominic?? Lots of love and hugs xxx

  Steph groaned. She didn’t need to be Einstein to work out what had happened. She scrolled back down to Barry’s message and continued reading:

  First and foremost, I am not gay! And I am most definitely the marrying kind. And I most definitely want to see you. Just you. Not Dominic! Here’s my mobile number. Steph gazed at the number without taking it in. Do give me a call. Day or night. I await with bated breath! Loads of love, Barry xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  Bloody Dominic. And bloody hell.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Si retreated to the lounge feeling like a whipped dog. Steph had been mood swinging all day. Okay, it had been a very trying day, but sometimes bad luck happened. Why couldn’t Steph look on the positive side? Si mentally ticked off reasons to be positive. Si’s arrest hadn’t led to a spot in jail. Steph’s hair hadn’t fallen out at the swanky hair salon. Rachel wasn’t Tom’s girlfriend. Steph’s fish and chip supper had gone on the floor, not her hips. And finally, thanks to Si’s swift reflexes, Steph still had a laptop. But had she thanked him? No. Just told him to take the ketchup and clear off. Women. He’d never understand them if he lived to be a hundred.

  Si fingered the remote control and turned the volume up on the television. June’s salsa bongos were starting to echo in Si’s temples. The beat was reverberating right through his armchair. Due to witnessing his neighbour’s doorstep kissing marathon, Si had now had a sneak peek at June’s salsa partner. Steph had said he was called Harry. Si knew he wasn’t going to like him. Harry was not a gentleman. A gentleman didn’t behave like a letch. Especially in public. Si felt protective of June. She was a bit daffy but very sweet. He didn’t want anybody taking advantage of her. Si was looking forward to June’s dinner party. He wanted to check Harry out properly. Let the man know that if there was any nonsense, he’d have Si to deal with.

  A heavier vibration zipped through Si’s armchair. Was that the front door banging? Si gave the television a last rueful glance. Chelsea were playing crap anyway. He hit the off button on the remote control. Seconds later June’s salsa mercifully stopped. Si heaved himself out of the armchair, his ears ringing. Voices were coming from the kitchen. Which could mean only one thing. Tom was home. Si took a deep breath. He and Steph owed their boy an apology.

  ‘The thing is,’ he could hear Steph saying, ‘if you weren’t in the habit of bringing unsuitable women back to this house, this incident would never have happened.’

  Si went through to the kitchen. Steph was seated at the table in front of her laptop. Tom was sitting opposite. They both looked tense. This called for a cup of tea. Si squeezed round the back of Steph’s chair to get to the kettle.

  ‘Hello son,’ Si nodded his head. ‘Did you have a good evening?’

  ‘I’ve had better Dad,’ said Tom.

  Si checked the kettle’s water level and flicked the switch. He turned and leant back against the sink. ‘Look son, first and foremost your mum and I want to apologise for the way we spoke to Rachel’

  ‘We do?’ asked Steph.

  ‘Yes,’ said Si. ‘We jumped to conclusions and got the wrong end of the stick. But your mum is right about one thing. If you didn’t have an endless stream of unsuitable girls flitting through here, the way we spoke to Rachel would never have arisen.’

  ‘This place is not a hotel,’ Steph sniffed. ‘More importantly, it’s not a place for you to constantly get your leg over.’

  ‘Are you saying I can’t have a girlfriend home?’

  ‘Not at all,’ Si assured. ‘I think your mum would just like to know that when you’re up in your bedroom, you’re preferably listening to music rather than making music.’

  ‘Oh come on Dad. You were young once.’

  Si contemplated his feet. Yes. He’d been young once. It seemed like only yesterday he’d sneaked Steph into his parents’ house, the pair of them giggling as they’d tiptoed up the stairs. Bizarrely it also seemed a lifetime ago. He hardly recognised the married couple they now were. A couple who had once seemed so daring and reckless. Having fun. Even June was being daring and reckless! And so what if Si didn’t like Harry? June did! The kettle came to the boil. Si reached for the cups and teabags.

  ‘We were teenagers once Tom.’ Si set the steaming mugs down in front of his wife and son. ‘But we were respectful of our parents.’

  ‘Are you saying I’m disrespectful?’

  Si resumed his position against the kitchen sink. ‘Not as such. But if you took the time and trouble to introduce us to people, misunderstandings might not happen.’

  ‘You were out when I brought Rachel home.’

  ‘We weren’t out when you were bringing Florrie home,’ Steph countered. ‘Much as Florrie seemed a pleasant enough girl Tom, she was hardly meet-the-parents material. It’s not a great feeling knowing your son is upstairs with a girl who has barely left another man’s bed.’

  Si looked across at his wife. Trust her to get straight to the point. Again. He watched as Steph took a sip of her tea. Her elbow caught the edge of the laptop nudging it sideways. Si didn’t leap forward to rescue it. He wasn’t up for getting his wrists slapped a second time. Thankfully the laptop stayed put. The screen was now facing Si.

  Tom looked put out. ‘So you think I shouldn’t have befriended Florrie because she was soiled goods?’

  Si stared at the laptop screen. If he narrowed his eyes he could read the text.

  ‘Befriend is one thing Tom,’ said Steph in exasperation. ‘Bonk is another.’

  ‘Well it wasn’t her fault she was knocked up!’

  Clearly Steph was in the middle of corresponding with somebody. There was a small photograph at the top of the screen. A man. A good looking man.

  ‘There’s such a thing as precautions,’ Steph fired back.

  Dearest Barry. I was blown away by your accepting my friend request.

  ‘The condom split!’

  Steph looked like she wanted to clap her hands over her ears. ‘We don’t want the details Tom.’

  If I may be so bold Barry, I’d like to say you are very fit, in every sense of the word. Si’s eyebrows shot up. Who was Barry? And why was Steph telling this Barry person he was fit?

  ‘Just because Florrie was up the duff didn’t mean she was a horrible person. I really liked the girl. Thought she was gorgeous too. And neither of us knew she was pregnant when we started dating. Anyway, she always knew our time together was just a fling.’

  Hey Steffy! Thanks so much for getting back to me...blah blah blah... I had no idea I meant so much to you at school... this Barry person knew Steph at school? I most definitely want to see you. Just you. Not Dominic! Who the heck was Dominic? What was going on here? Here’s my mobile number. Si stretched an arm along the worktop. Casually, he picked up the notepad used for writing shopping lists. He was surprised to see his hand was shaking slightly. Untangling the string on the biro, he copied out the mobile number. Tearing off
the paper, he folded it and tucked it inside his pocket.

  ‘Well it shouldn’t be a fling,’ Steph snapped. ‘What’s wrong with the younger generation these days? They think a quick fling is all that matters.’

  Do give me a call. Day or night. I await with bated breath! Loads of love, Barry xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  Si was reeling. The only boy he’d known from school days was Barry Hastings. Si screwed his eyes up and examined the profile picture. It was Barry Hastings! And judging from this touching exchange, Steph and Barry were planning on meeting. And Steph had just delivered a sermon to their son about flings!

  ‘There’s a name for girls like Florrie,’ Steph said. Tom’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

  Si heard two alarm bells ring in his head. The first flagged up that Tom and Steph were about to have a row. The second lot of ringing was more urgent. It warned Si that his wife was ripe for an affair.

  ‘And what is this name?’ Tom demanded.

  Steph’s neck was turning red. She was clearly starting a hot flush. ‘Fuck buddy,’ she hissed, her face now magenta.

  Tom leapt up from the kitchen table.

  ‘Enough!’ Si put up a hand. ‘Let’s just end this subject. Tom, you are welcome to bring a girl home. Frankly I couldn’t care less who she is so long as you introduce us and are discreet and respectful while in this house. Is that understood?’

  ‘Yes Dad.’ Tom scraped back his chair and stood up. Casting a dark look at his mother, he went upstairs to bed.

  ‘Well thanks for undermining me,’ Steph glared at Si.

  Si glowered back. ‘I think you need to practice what you preach. I’m going to bed.’ He stalked out of the kitchen leaving Steph mouthing like a goldfish.

  Upstairs, Si stripped down to his boxers. He rolled his socks into a ball and tossed them into a corner. He knew it would annoy Steph, but he didn’t care. And to think he’d been beating himself up recently for having erotic dreams about Dawn! Well he wouldn’t be feeling guilty any more. Oh no!

  Chapter Eighteen

  June had woken up alone. Thank God. She didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved. She lay in bed and listened to Ralph snoring in his basket on the landing. June suspected Harry didn’t like Ralph. He never fussed the little dog. Nor did Ralph wag his tail at Harry. If only animals could talk! Then June could ask Ralph what he thought of Harry and whether she should share a bed with him. She had a nagging feeling Ralph would snarl by way of answer. Instead June would have to discuss her dilemma with Steph. Normally June didn’t shy away from confiding in her neighbour. However, if Steph heard secrets that alarmed her, she in turn would confide in Si. And June knew from the nasty business with the wily octogenarian that Si cared enough about her to go to war if necessary. She didn’t want Si going to war with Harry.

  The trouble was June no longer knew how she felt about Harry. Initially Harry had been a gift from salsa heaven. A man who remembered all the dance moves and was a natural leader. Harry had also soared in June’s ratings because he had his own teeth, a full head of hair and wore decent aftershave. Finding out he had a detached house and drove a BMW was icing on the cake. June had stalked Harry around the dance floor. In the interval he’d bought her a glass of wine. They’d hit it off almost immediately. And June had enjoyed simpering and batting her eyelids. However, what June hadn’t reckoned on was the momentum this friendship had gathered. Harry had made it as plain as the nose on June’s face that he wanted more. And his proposition to spend a weekend in Brighton was tempting. Beautiful Brighton! A stroll along the pier. Paddling in the sea. The hot sun on their faces. A fish and chip supper overlooking the beach. And then sliding between the sheets of a four poster – a bed fit for a princess. But another part of June knew that no matter how you dressed this weekend up, it was a dirty weekend. June sighed. First the dirty dancing. Now the dirty weekend. How apposite.

  The biggest thing that bugged June was the way she’d responded to Harry’s kiss. She had so looked forward to that first kiss! In her head she’d watched and re-played so many times how that kiss would unfold. A gentle embrace. Harry inclining his head. Lowering his mouth. June tilting her face. Harry touching her cheek tenderly. A soft brushing of lips. And then again. A little longer this time. Harry’s fingers stroking her hair. Pulling back. Harry looking drunk with love. The reality couldn’t have been more different. She’d found herself in the middle of a grapple, squashed up against her front door. When she’d opened her mouth to protest, Harry’s tongue had landed in her mouth. June had been repelled. It had reminded her of a fat wriggling fish. And when Harry had finally let her come up for air, he appeared not so much drunk with love but lust.

  June didn’t want lust. She wanted romance. She loved the idea of Brighton. She was thrilled about the four poster bed. But she preferred the idea of wrapping their arms around each other and going straight to sleep. It had been a good ten years since she’d done anything different. She wondered if Joan Collins had this problem with Percy. Perhaps she should write Joanie a letter:

  Dear Ms Collins. Do you still ‘do it’? If so, how do you go about it? I can’t remember! Also, is it permissible to wear face cream and pyjamas in bed, or should I retire in full make up and a frothy nightgown?

  Out on the landing Ralph stirred. June heard him yawn and knew the terrier was stretching. Moments later paws trotted across the landing. A wet nose nudged her hand.

  ‘Good morning Ralph. Would you like a cuddle?’

  The little dog jumped on the bed. He snuggled into June’s armpit. If she married Harry, would she still enjoy cuddles in bed with Ralph? She thought not.

  ‘Come on boy. Time to get up. I fancy a nice long walk.’

  Ralph barked in agreement, tail wagging so hard it was almost rotating.

  An hour later June and Ralph set off. As June turned to shut the gate after her, she saw Steph coming out of Number 42.

  ‘Morning dear,’ June called.

  ‘Hi June.’

  Steph smiled but June thought the smile seemed strained. Steph also looked tired. She hoped Harry’s ‘Sexy Salsa Hits’ hadn’t disturbed everybody.

  ‘Steph dear, I want to make a firm dinner date with you and Si. Are you available tonight? I so want you both to meet Harry.’

  ‘We’d love to meet Harry. But I’m out tonight with Si. We’re trying to make more time for each other. Things between us have been a bit – well – fraught. What with Tom and everything.’ Steph trailed off.

  June immediately felt guilty. She hoped and everything didn’t include the inconvenience she’d put her neighbours to by getting locked out and Si being arrested. She’d better refrain from telling Steph all about Harry’s plans for a weekend away. For the moment.

  ‘Would tomorrow be better instead?’

  This time Steph gave a proper smile. One that lit up her face. ‘That would be lovely June. We’ll look forward to it. I’d better hurry. My bus will be along in a minute. Don’t want to be late for work.’

  ‘Excellent!’ June beamed. ‘And make sure you have a lovely time tonight. You and Si deserve it. The pair of you should go out more often.’

  ‘That’s what we plan to do from now on. Have a nice walk with Ralph.’

  ‘Will do. Toodle-oo.’

  June set off for the park. She was almost there when she remembered she was avoiding Arnold and his Labrador. June dithered. If she carried on to the park, it would be Sod’s Law that Arnold would be there. June made her decision.

  ‘Sorry Ralph. Change of plan.’

  She took a side road. June hadn’t been down here before. It was a tree-lined avenue and very pleasant. By her reckoning it should link up with the High Street and home again. As June bowled along, she passed a pavement café. How charming. A man was reading a newspaper, enjoying the morning sunshine. A Labrador lay at his feet. June stalled. At exactly that moment the man put his newspaper down.

  ‘June!’

  June stared at Arnold, appalled. ‘Ah! Hello Ar
nold.’

  ‘How very fortuitous,’ Arnold beamed with pleasure. ‘Now I won’t take no for an answer. I absolutely insist you join me.’

  Chapter Nineteen

  Si crawled along in the early morning rush hour. He’d cut short his time in the house to avoid prolonging breakfast conversation. He’d been afraid that too long in Steph’s company would release a torrent of accusations. Si had known Steph was building her friendship network on Facebook, but naively imagined it was limited to the Tesco girls. He’d been astonished to discover his wife had been corresponding with Barry Hastings. Even worse, Steph was planning on meeting the man. Reading their words of mutual admiration had been a downright shock. What was Steph doing calling Barry Hastings ‘fit’? That was the sort of language Tom used to describe a girl. It smacked of sexual attraction. And that was the real bombshell. Discovering this friendship couldn’t be innocent. Why else had Steph failed to mention Barry Hastings to him? They’d all been in the same class for heaven’s sake. ‘You’ll never guess what Si? I’m in touch with Barry Hastings! You must remember him – he was the Golden Balls of Blackfen Primary.’ Si gnashed his teeth. He touched his pocket. The piece of paper with Barry’s mobile number lay within. He didn’t know why he’d noted it down. But he felt more in control being armed with it. Like it was some sort of insurance. Should he ring Barry? Demand to know why the man was telling Steph he was the marrying kind and wanted to see her?

  Si accelerated past a milk float. And how incredible was it that Steph carried on as if nothing was happening! Clearly no guilty conscience troubled his wife! She’d put the cereal boxes on the table and made a brew looking like butter wouldn’t melt. She’d even had the audacity to say how much she was looking forward to their ‘date’ tonight at Chapter One. Huh! Perhaps she would prefer to take Barry Hastings instead.

  Si drove into the Nut and Squirrel’s car park. Through the windscreen he could see Dawn in the beer garden. She was moving between the tables opening up sun parasols. Si killed the engine and levered open the van door. Dawn turned to greet him.