Flings and Arrows Page 12

  ‘Juney!’ Harry thrust some carnations at her and swept into the hall.

  ‘Goodness you’re early,’ said June taking the flowers.

  ‘I hope the Beamer will be all right. I’ve parked it next to a very scruffy van.’

  June knew there was only one van in Jessamine Terrace. Si’s. ‘I’m sure it will be absolutely fine,’ she said tersely. ‘Oh, thank you.’ June acknowledged the two bottles of rosé Harry was holding. ‘Let’s put them in the fridge to keep cool.’

  ‘You’re certainly not keeping me cool wearing that outfit. If I may say so Juney, that’s a rocking frock.’

  ‘Oh, this old thing!’ June tinkled modestly as she shut the fridge door. She then busied herself looking in the cupboard under the sink for something to put the flowers in. June was very aware of Harry’s eyes roaming over her.

  ‘And I simply love those shoes,’ Harry purred. He mumbled something.

  ‘What was that?’

  ‘Ducky,’ said Harry quickly. ‘I said ducky. As in cute.’

  ‘Oh. Right.’ Finding a vase, June filled it with water and popped the carnations in.

  ‘Now come along Juney! Let’s have a pre-dinner sherry before putting that dress through its paces.’ Harry was already heading off to the lounge. Now he was delving into June’s drinks cabinet. He selected two huge wine glasses. If June drank that amount of sherry she’d be legless. From the glint in Harry’s eye, she realised the thought had occurred to him too.

  Seconds later Sexy Salsa Hits rattled the walls of the lounge. June sighed. If she kept Harry dancing, at least it would keep him amused until Steph and Si arrived.

  ‘Cheers!’ Harry yelled before tossing the sherry down his neck.

  June took a few sips before allowing herself to be whirled around the room. Twenty minutes later, hot and slightly out of breath, June signalled to Harry that she needed a drink. As no other refreshment was to hand, she downed the sherry. As it hit its spot, June felt her head ringing. Perhaps she could dance the effects off? Harry leered and whisked her back into his arms. They flicked their heels forward, back, forward again. Then Harry swung June sideways, so low she almost swept the carpet. As Harry lifted June up again, he suddenly froze. What was the matter? June wished her head would stop ringing. Harry was staring at her cleavage. June followed his gaze. Her cleavage had spilled right out of the cocktail dress. Suddenly Harry’s hands were all over her. June was horrified.

  ‘Harry!’ June shouted over the music.

  ‘Oh my darling Juney,’ Harry yelled back. ‘I am drowning in your beauty.’

  ‘Get off!’ June shouted.

  Harry misunderstood. He spun round and hit the off button on the stereo. ‘You’re right Juney. The lounge is not the place. Lead me to your bedroom.’

  Before June could even think about protesting, the doorbell rang. And again. And again. ‘Go and answer the door,’ June said hoarsely, frantically re-arranging her cleavage and dress. ‘It will be Steph and Si.’

  ‘I don’t want to,’ said Harry petulantly. ‘Can’t you send them away? Say you’re not feeling well.’

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ said June making a final adjustment. ‘The whole purpose of this evening is to meet you.’

  ‘But whatever for?’ whined Harry.

  Because, thought June to herself, I thought you had fiancé potential and I wanted to show you off. However, after Harry fumbling with her bosoms, she was even less sure of her feelings for him. First that horrible kiss. Now a ghastly grope. She smoothed down her dress as the bell once against burst into life.

  ‘Sorry, sorry!’ June trilled as she opened the door.

  ‘We’ve been ringing for ages. We couldn’t make you hear,’ said Steph. She hugged June and gave her a bottle of red wine.

  ‘Harry was playing the music much too loud. Hello Si,’ June pecked Si on the cheek. ‘How’s the eye?’

  ‘It looks worse than it feels,’ Si assured.

  ‘Well come on through,’ June swayed into the lounge. Goodness. She better get some food inside her to mop up all that sherry. ‘Now then, it gives me great pleasure to introduce Harry. Harry, this is Steph and Si, my dear neighbours.’ Si extended a hand. June noted with displeasure Harry’s reaction. He tried and failed to look thrilled at making her neighbours’ acquaintance. ‘Let’s sit down. Harry, would you be so kind as to pour the wine and I’ll dish up.’

  ‘Wonderful weather we’re having,’ said Steph striking up safe conversation.

  ‘Absolutely,’ agreed Harry. ‘Perfect driving conditions. Love taking the Beamer for a spin when it’s like this.’

  June left them all to bond and pulled the vast casserole out of the oven. When she’d first thought of having this dinner party, she’d so looked forward to it. Now a part of her was hoping the evening could be over before it had even begun. She hoped Harry would like her neighbours and that they would like him. But even if they did, sadly June was no longer sure she liked Harry.

  Chapter Thirty One

  Steph listened to Harry droning on about his BMW. She’d decided within thirty seconds of meeting Harry, that she didn’t like him. The man had an ego the size of Jessamine Terrace. Now he was puffed out with self-importance as he extolled the merits of his socking great pension. Which was apparently an absolute must if you had a socking great house. And naturally Harry did. The good thing about people who loved the sound of their own voices was that you could drop out of the conversation. A few nods of the head. Mutter ‘amazing’ a few times. And your mind could wander elsewhere. Right now Steph was very aware her mind was anywhere but in June’s living room.

  Steph had found the whole day slightly surreal. She’d lurched from one emotional crisis to another. Throwing a sickie at work had troubled her conscience. But that had been unavoidable. She’d been desperate to track down Si and confront Dawn. Steph had expended buckets of adrenalin on that little scenario. And due to being thoroughly out of sorts, she’d later sat at her laptop and written a fantasy email to Barry Hastings. How stupid had she been! And then the message had accidentally sent when she’d head-banged the laptop’s keyboard. Steph couldn’t believe the odds on such a thing happening. But it had. When Si had furiously mentioned Barry’s name and flirty messages, Steph had – for one heart stopping moment – assumed Si had read that email. Heaven only knew what bounds Si’s wrath would reach if he knew the truth. That his wife had requested sight of Barry Hastings’ body. Inch by inch. Steph gulped.

  ‘How amazing,’ she said to Harry.

  ‘That’s what I said. You can’t go wrong with a car like a BMW. It’s pure class. I’m thinking of changing it in due course. Perhaps a sports car. Maybe an M6 convertible.’

  Steph sipped her wine. And what would Barry make of her message? He’d think she was sex-mad. Not to mention totally deranged. Perhaps she could make out her Facebook account had been hacked. Now that was a great idea! Steph cheered up a modicum. She’d finished her wine. The alcohol was soothing her senses. And after teetering on the brink of divorce, she needed all the soothing she could get.

  ‘Wow, amazing.’

  ‘You don’t think it’s a bit girly?’

  Steph didn’t know what Harry was talking about. She put her head on one side as if considering his question. ‘Only if it were pink.’

  Harry threw back his head and laughed. ‘No chance of that. I thought black actually. What do you reckon?’

  ‘Oh yes, amazing.’ Harry re-filled her wine glass. He was paying no attention to Si. Her husband was standing there like a spare part. Si held out his glass for a re-fill too. Harry ignored him. Si opened his mouth to say something but then appeared to change his mind. Instead he went off to the kitchen to see if June needed help.

  ‘And if I may say so my dear lady,’ Harry said sotto voce, ‘that’s a most charming dress you’re wearing. It brings out the blue of your eyes. And you have incredibly pretty eyes you know.’

  Steph nodded and sipped. But quite apart from the Barry Has
tings business, the other thing that was really bugging her was Si returning to work at the Nut and Squirrel. He’d be seeing Dawn every single day. Steph was fairly sure that Si wouldn’t touch Dawn with a barge pole. However, she wasn’t so sure that Dawn wouldn’t try and set Si up again. She was a woman scorned. And everybody knew hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Well if Dawn tried anything, Steph would be ready for her. She drained her wine glass.

  ‘Women tell me I have nice eyes. Seductive eyes,’ Harry gave a throaty laugh. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Amazing,’ Steph nodded.

  Harry looked at her smugly.

  June appeared carrying two plates of food. Si brought up the rear. He was also holding two loaded plates.

  ‘Sit up,’ June trilled. ‘Harry, Steph’s glass is empty. Be a dear and fill her up.’

  ‘I would love to fill her up,’ Harry murmured and waggled his eyebrows at Steph.

  Steph pulled out a chair and sat down. Harry handed her a third refill and sat opposite. Steph was aware that she needed to get some food into her stomach. She’d hardly eaten all day. Her appetite always shrunk when she was stressed – and there had been plenty of that today. June’s casserole looked delectable. There seemed to be lots of little red and green things floating about in the sauce. Perhaps they were peppers. Steph loved them.

  ‘Cheers all,’ said June raising her glass. ‘Tuck in.’

  Steph loaded her fork with chicken and peppers. She was about to compliment June on the meal when her mouth erupted in flame. Good God. Whatever had June put in with the chicken? Steph frantically swallowed and picked up her wine glass. Trying not to glug too obviously, she drained her glass. ‘Lovely meal June,’ she whispered hoarsely.

  June nodded, clearly unable to speak. A quick glance at Si and Harry revealed they were in similar difficulties. Si’s eyeballs were streaming. He surreptitiously dabbed a napkin at them. Everybody reached for their glasses and drained them in seconds.

  ‘More wine?’ June stood up. Everybody agreed enthusiastically, although Steph would have preferred a carafe of water. She busied herself with a jacket potato. Maybe that would pacify her molten taste buds.

  Steph was suddenly aware of her foot being rubbed. Was it Ralph? Steph paused, fork suspended mid-air. Her eyes cast around the living room. No, not Ralph. The little terrier was sitting in an armchair. He was staring unblinkingly at Harry. Every now and again Ralph’s lip curled, as though silently snarling. Steph looked at Si. Her husband caught her eye. Steph arched an enquiring eyebrow. Si gave her a look of puzzlement. Not him. June? Her neighbour was pretending to eat her food but actually toying with it. June was asking Harry why he’d been in the High Street earlier. Steph decided she was imagining things. As she took another sip of wine, she nearly choked. There it was again! Toes wiggling through woollen fabric. Steph had noted June’s killer heels earlier on. And her legs had been encased in silk stockings, not woolly socks. Steph looked at Harry. He was loudly regaling about booking a coach holiday to Brighton.

  ‘But I hadn’t made up my mind for sure,’ June was protesting.

  ‘Well you’d better decide soon Juney,’ Harry was saying, ‘or else I’ll have to take somebody else.’

  And with that five pudgy toes tickled Steph’s calf.

  Chapter Thirty Two

  Si put down his knife and fork and mopped his eyes. He winced slightly as the napkin brushed his black eye. Thanks to Steph he was sporting a right shiner. Who would have thought a small woman could pack such a big punch. Terry had taken one look at him and started laughing.

  ‘You should’ve kept your todger in your trousers mate,’ he’d sniggered. ‘The key to successful rumpy-pumpy is not getting caught.’

  Si had stood up to his full height and given Terry the facts. ‘I haven’t had rumpy-pumpy with anybody mate. There was, however, a misunderstanding with Steph. So yes, if you must know, this is her handiwork. But no more jokes. Everything is fine between me and the wife.’

  ‘Can’t say the same for her though,’ Terry had nodded at the entrance door.

  Si had followed Terry’s gaze. Dawn had stomped through, lips pursed, eyes flashing. She’d banged the door hard before stalking off to the bar. There had been no sign of a limp.

  Si took a huge gulp of wine. God knows what June had put in this chicken dish but he needed a cold beer. Urgently.

  ‘June love, I’m not really a wine person. Would you mind if I quickly popped back home and grabbed a few beers from the fridge?’

  ‘Not at all dear. Shall I put your dinner back in the oven to keep warm?’

  Si would have preferred June to put his meal in the bin. ‘No love, leave it there.’ Si stood up. ‘Would you like a couple of beers Harry?’

  ‘No thanks. Never touch the stuff. It’s a drink for the common man. I’ll have more wine though.’

  Si stared at Harry incredulously. The man had skin thicker than rhino hide. Whatever did June see in him? And what was the matter with Steph? Every now and again she kept jerking and making squeaking noises.

  ‘Right. I’ll be two ticks.’

  Si let himself into Number 42. He could hear Tom on the phone. His son sounded anxious.

  ‘What do you mean you think he knows? Are you sure?’ Now he sounded horrified. ‘I’m too young to die.’ Now plain terrified. ‘Yeah, okay. We’ll leave things for a week or two.’ The receiver crashed down.

  ‘Tom?’ Si called. ‘Everything okay?’

  Tom came out of the kitchen. He looked very pale. ‘Hey!’ he gave a shaky laugh. ‘Never better. Everything’s cool.’

  Si nodded. He wished he could say the same for June’s chicken dish. Tom bounded up the stairs. Moments later his bedroom door shut. Music burst into life. Oh to be a teenager again. Such carefree days. Si opened the fridge door and pulled out a six pack. Popping a can, he drank half in one go. Superb. He wiggled his tongue about. That was better. His taste buds were returning to normal. Si took a few more sips and rootled around the fridge for something to eat. He was starving. Breakfast had been a non-starter. Due to being late for work Si had missed lunch. But despite his hunger, Si couldn’t see himself getting through June’s chilli chicken casserole. He glanced at the kitchen clock. He didn’t have time to knock up a cheese sandwich. Perhaps he could fill himself up on June’s jacket potatoes. Grabbing a bottle of wine from the chiller drawer, he headed back next door.

  Everybody was still playing with their chicken. Si noted with dismay that all the jacket potatoes had been eaten. He’d just have to make a sterling effort with June’s chilli chicken. At least he had plenty of lager to put the fire out. Si put the booze on the table. Harry immediately picked up the wine bottle and waved it at June.

  ‘Uncork this Juney. I have one hell of a thirst.’

  ‘Me too,’ agreed June. She stood up and staggered off to the kitchen.

  It occurred to Si that everybody seemed more than a little drunk. Too much booze and not enough food.

  ‘I was telling your lovely wife about my Beamer,’ said Harry importantly. ‘So what are you driving these days Si?’

  Si had a sneaking suspicion that Harry already knew what he was driving. However, he went along with the conversation. It was, after all, the first time Harry had actually engaged him in any. Si also knew that June was anxious for his approval of Harry.

  ‘Well in my line of work it’s more practical for me to have a van.’

  ‘Oh, poor you,’ Harry feigned sympathy. ‘What line of work would that be?’

  Si popped a second tin of lager. ‘I’m a plumber.’

  Harry pulled a face. ‘Suppose somebody has to do it.’

  ‘He’s a very good plumber too,’ said Steph sounding both pissed and pissed off.

  ‘I’m sure he is my dear girl.’

  Steph gave another series of squeaks and jerks. She settled down when June re-appeared with the uncorked wine.

  ‘Come on folks,’ June wobbled on her killer heels. ‘Drink up!’

>   There was a moment’s silence while cold liquid soothed hot mouths.

  ‘Forgive me but I’m absolutely full,’ said Si. His stomach gave a loud rumble of hunger. ‘Fabulous meal love.’

  Harry and Steph noisily agreed.

  ‘Gosh there’s an awful lot left over,’ said June in dismay.

  ‘Perhaps sweet little Ralph would like it,’ Harry suggested unkindly.

  ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ said Steph. ‘The chicken might be too hot for him.’

  Si swigged his lager and looked across at his wife. She was pink from too much wine and not enough dinner. She also looked unspeakably beautiful. Si felt a rush of love. Smiling to himself, he levered off a shoe. Extending his foot under the table, he walked his toes up Steph’s leg. Wouldn’t she be surprised at him playing footie-footie! But the surprise was all Si’s. Two seconds later his big toe had been speared by Steph’s fork.

  Chapter Thirty Three

  June was squiffy. But not so squiffy as to recognise that something somewhere and somehow had gone wrong. One minute Si had been smiling and sipping his lager, the next he’d given a blood curdling cry and fallen off his chair, lager slopping everywhere. Steph’s hands had fluttered to her mouth. She’d rocketed upwards, her chair crashing backwards. Ralph had instantly abandoned sentry patrol and was now rushing around the living room barking hysterically. Only Harry remained calm. He nonchalantly poured himself more wine, seemingly oblivious to the mayhem around him.

  ‘Whatever’s the matter?’ June lurched forward. Ralph got under her feet. He gave an ear-splitting shriek as June’s stiletto connected with a paw. ‘Oh no. Ralphie! My poor darling! Show Mummy your paw-paw.’ June swept the little dog into her arms. Harry looked at the terrier with disdain.